How Not to Talk About Your Landscape and Apparently, Brown is the New Green

Those of us who routinely watch the neighbors' eyes glaze over when we talk about our gardens have been duly admonished. Observe: Talking About Your Landscaping, courtesy of our mentors and friends at Wild Ones.

The same newsletter features a snippet about how green has been coopted by corporate money-grabbers and that brown, for the earth, should be the color de rigeur for the environmentalist. (I'm sad to report that since my relocation mto the Midwest, both brown and green now remind me of lawn grass.) Instead of brown, I propose "wearing" every color found in the native landscape in our gardens and putting a rapid halt to the mindless consumption of eco-branded products. Instead of buying recycled plastic carry-all bags at the health food store, wouldn't it make more sense to purchase the 25 cent canvas tote bags readily available at the thrift store and stop consuming so much plastic in the first place? It seems, however, that the majority of us have been implanted with the Consumer Chip. Maybe it's time for a reinterpretation of Logan's Run in which corporate greenwashers put environmentalists in the Carousel and send agents to infiltrate outlaw permacultural communities. Or maybe I should leave screenwriting to the professionals. Next!

Michael York hereby swears to buy greenwashed products on sight.